The Hummingbird has flown 

The other day a good friend bought me a hummingbird figurine to represent how far I had come with my depression. I’ve hung it up in my bedroom so it’s the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see when I wake up (other than my daughter’s head)! As I look at it, it seems to be flying and that’s currently how I’m feeling. 

 I’m recovering from major gynaecological surgery for an issue I’ve had for 2 years. Something which has had a huge impact on me, my quality of life and my relationship. Something which I think has prolonged my post natal depression. Now it’s not an issue I feel amazing. I’m flying. 

I’m feeling so good that I’m coming off my antidepressants. I’m doing this in a controlled way as advised by my GP but I’m happy about that. Slow and steady is my new motto. My magic beans have done their job and I don’t need them anymore. 

I’ve had three months of CBT which has been very helpful and opened my eyes to the issues I needed to work on. Mindfulness is worth every minute I spend on it. Time to myself is not selfish, it’s time well spent. My past still affects my future and that’s fine as long as I am aware that I am in control. Reading is vital to my wellbeing. I am worthy. Always have been and always will be. 

The emails I get from the Blurt Foundation don’t mean so much to me now as I’ve worked through my depression.  I highly recommend them for anyone else who’s suffering though. Please ask for help. Virtually or in person as it all helps. 

I’ve enjoyed blogging about my depression – especially at nighttime when I can’t sleep – and am grateful for everyone who took the time to comment. This will be my last post for this blog. 

This Hummingbird has flown.